Let’s break down as precisely as we can what makes a great Twitter bio so you can recreate some of the genius ideas below and make your very own. Below I’ve outlined what I believe are key principles of creating your own unique and clever bio. With these tips you’ll be on your way to bio fame.
Absolutely Funny Twitter Bios
Below are the best Twitter bios I’ve found around the web that range from average people to celebrities, to famous Twitter users. A lot of these are from famous people, so copy them at your own risk. Reading these will help give you a sense of some things you can say yourself.
- A Nomad in search for the perfect burger. Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you wont like me
- I’m not on Facebook. This is all you are ever going to get
- Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Mom, Blogger. I’m very busy and important.
- Because every breath I take proves that I can live without you.
- Buddy, can you paradigm?
- One day I woke up & I felt bad because blink-182 broke up. Then I remembered all the small things and I went back to sleep and woke up the following morning.
- I’m not going to stress over you anymore. It isn’t worth it. I tried to work something out but you just ignored it. I’m not trying to say I don’t want you, because I definitely do.
- Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging
- I was born. When I was 11 I got my first computer. Then I started writing funny tweets. That’s still what I am doing. The end.
- I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
- A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
- Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
- Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why.
- I’m fighting to get you out of my head but I’m holding onto every word that you ever said.
- Probably the best meat eater in the world
- I’m so much cooler online. Aren’t we all?
- The man your #librarian warned you about. Former audio engineer, now #author, #editor, future #corpse.
- Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
- 10 Account Bios Changed
- Must follow this!
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
- Married to the luckiest man alive. Uh, I mean, *I’m* the lucky one {cough} We have eleventy-billion kids. I wife. I mom. I run. I write.
- I can quote Top Gun better than you and all your friends.
- I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One Don’t reveal everything.
- Bald. Unreliable. Easily distracted.
- I have a dream to gain the freedom to help people Through new products, helping then grow through experiences and achieving their dreams and their freedom
- I am a sample size of one, not statistically significant, nor representative.
- Nerd fighter. Determined dreamer. Writer. Have ambitions to be crazy cat lady if marrying various celebrity crushes proves impossible.
- Another paper cut survivor
- Note this is Finnish. I don’t know what it says, but get a load of all those letters! I figure any bio with the word Oyj in it has got to be great.
- Insert pretentious crap about myself here.
- Job Opportunity Promoter, I follow back for FREE!!!
- Fascinated by transactional nature of counter knowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate but don’t engender counter-public spheres
- I love myself so much
- You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your butthole, if you feel like it.
- I have been called a Pollyanna, sugarcoated idealist. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that.
- I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Don’t reveal everything.
- I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
- Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
- Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.
- I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
- I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
- Damn it! How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?
- College Professor, Lawyer, Blogging on Leadership, Business, Marketing and Social Media, and lover of Craft Beer
- HOLY CRAP I’M GOING TO BE A DAD! Oh yea, I work in email marketing & I like craft beer too.
- I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
- Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
- A mum and a wife with a really cool day job…
- Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
- I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it
Funniest Twitter Bios with images
1. @TheMikeTrainor
Why we’re amused:
Comedian and writer Mike Trainor makes my inner seven-year-old want to ask him to pull my finger. Also, imagining Mr. Trainor saying, “He who smelt it,” while looking as dapper as he does in his profile picture is a little slice of added amusement. Plus, we can’t help but love this bio’s self-deprecation, in its allusion to the fact that one of his shows is “still airing somehow.”
2. @UberFacts
Why we’re amused:
UberFacts fills our brains with seemingly unnecessary information all day, every day. Though with the rise of popularity in bar-hosted trivia nights and games like Trivia Crack, I wouldn’t say we’ll never need to know things like this: Berserk llama syndrome is a real condition where a llama believes its human owner is also a llama, causing the animal to become aggressive.
3. @NelsonFranklin
Why we’re amused:
I [verb describing feelings of having a strong liking for] this. American actor Nelson Franklin gets us. We’ve seen enough “Actor/Entertainer/Jazz Pianist” Twitter bios — seriously.
Franklin took it upon himself to create a bio that not only asks his followers to test out their imaginations, but one which will also withstand the test of time. I mean, no matter what Nelson Franklin becomes in life, “Noun/noun/noun” is likely to be pretty accurate.
4. @mikeindustries
Why we’re amused:
Mike Davidson, former VP of Design at Twitter, is a connoisseur of sorts — and while he has an impressive background, we do enjoy his present credential of, “Currently chillin’.”
We also can’t help but wonder: Does the Twitter bio 160 character limit have to do with the aesthetics of a Twitter page’s design? Is Mike Davidson to blame?
5. @JamieAmacher
Why we’re amused:
Some people aim to save neglected pets. Jamie Amacher aims to save neglected houseplants. Buffalo, NY resident (and coworker of mine at Mainstreethost), Amacher knows the importance of keeping plants alive indoors — especially since, here in the Northeast U.S., we don’t get to see much plant life outside during winter.
I must say, it’s a noble act; sacrificing a Twitter bio front-loaded with accomplishments. for the sake of our forgetful nature and thirsty houseplants.
6. @sixthformpoet
Why we’re amused:
Like a homeless individual asking me for beer money, I can respect this. The mysterious Sixth Form Poet is an author (as she or he is quick to remind us) of the book The Sixth Form Poet, and offers up this Twitter handle on the book’s cover as authorship. The Sixth Form Poet has attracted 143k fans to date, which is fitting, considering this 2013 tweet:
7) @Lord_Voldemort7
Why we’re amused:
Harry Potter fans, rejoice — or cower in fear. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has a Twitter, and he’s not afraid to share his truth — in the form of a clever use of Christina Perri lyrics.
8. @shelbyfero
Why we’re amused:
As we mentioned above, we always appreciate a bit of tasteful self-deprecating humor, and Shelby Fero gives us just that in her Twitter bio. Though, according to HiTFiX (and her impressive Twitter following of 122k), it seems that people are crazy about her — at the very least, on Twitter. And, if you’re curious about her work, she’s also conveniently included a link to Google search her instead of providing a website.
9. @Arbys
Why we’re amused:
Arby’s puns its slogan, “We have the meat.”, by replacing meat with tweets. This is a great way of reminding people of your slogan while making a funny joke about the platform you’re on.
10. @sweetestsara
Why we’re amused:
Sara Rubin is a video producer at BuzzFeed. You can thank her in part for many of the fantastic BuzzFeed videos you see circulating around social media and love are obsessed with. If you’ve seen any of the videos in which she’s, you know she’s an overall lovable and whimsical character — not to mention, hilariously awkward and anxious, like a good handful of us.
Her Twitter bio is just as imaginative and adds a touch of fantasy that I think provides a welcomed breather from some of the more serious Twitter bios out there.
11. @JohnCleese
Why we’re amused:
John Cleese is an English writer, actor and tall person (according to his website). As he is also a comedian, we’re allowed to find it incredibly humorous that he mentions in his Twitter bio that he’s still alive, contrary to rumor. Plus, he’s doing “the silly walk” in his app, and we invite you to see for yourself just how silly it is. (Monty Python fans, rejoice.)
12 & 13) @arnettwill & @batemanjason
Why we’re amused:
First off, it’s clear to me that BFF Twitter bios are the BFF necklace of 2017. Actors Will Arnett and Jason Bateman wear their BFF-dom proud for all of the Twitterland to see — but it’s not the first time they’ve taken their affinity for one another to the public eye. In 2013, they were seen strolling down the street on a sunny afternoon in 2013 while having some fun with the nearby paparazzi:
14 & 15. @AlisonLeiby & @alyssawolff
Why we’re amused:
In a similar fashion, writers Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff have obviously made a BFF pact to dedicate their Twitter bios to one another. Again — we approve.
16. The Onion
Why we’re amused:
The Onion is probably the most well-known and popular satirical news site. They publish gag headlines and goofy articles for the sake of humor. In this bio, they sarcastically claim that they are the opposite of a joke site by calling themselves the, “finest news source.”
17. @Lesdoggg
Why we’re amused:
What do we love about comedian Leslie Jones’ Twitter bio? It’s simple and to the point. Plus, we can’t help but snicker at the humor in its simplicity — she lets us know about her line of work, without any jokes. That’s okay; luckily, her on-screen work and actual tweets provide plenty of hilarious fodder.
18. @shondarhimes
Why we’re amused:
For many of us, Shonda Rhimes is a legend — and our Thursday nights would be so much less interesting without her. She’s the writer behind such hit shows as “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Scandal,” and yes: People love to tweet their plotline opinions to her. She stops that madness with a concise, funny quip in her bio: “It’s not real, okay?” Yes, Ms. Rhimes.
19. @aparnapkin
Why we’re amused:
Comedian Aparna Nancherla’s Twitter handle (@aparnapkin) is seemingly a play on her name, which is silly enough. Based on her bio I’d be willing to guess that her Twitter feed is equally as amusing.
That assumption is backed up by TIME, as her feed was named one of The 140 Best Twitter Feeds of 2014. Out of about 328 million monthly active users on Twitter, that ain’t too shabby – she’s definitely considered a comedian in this culture, if I had to guess.
20. @notzuckerberg
Why we’re amused:
In case you haven’t already guessed, this is NOT Mark Zuckerberg. But that doesn’t stop @notzuckerberg (a.k.a., Twitter user @afterthatsummer) from tweeting as if (s)he were the “Zuck.”
The fake Mark Zuckerberg is pretty funny, as proven by his Twitter bio and tweets like this:
21. @AnnaKendrick47
Why we’re amused:
We’ve always been rather amused by Anna Kendrick’s self-deprecating humor in general. Take, for example, this pinned tweet:
22. @FirstWorldPains
Why we’re amused:
This account pokes fun at “first world problems,” where people complain about things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things: cold French fries, getting the wrong coffee, a cell phone dying, or — as @FirstWorldPains mentions in its bio — the absolutely terrible moment when you really, really want to write a good online bio, but can’t think of anything. #worstdayofmylife
23. @Charmin
Why we’re amused:
Charmin, as we know, sells toilet paper. We’re all adults here, and we all know what it’s used for. Charmin’s Twitter bio is entertaining because, considering its industry, the brand gets the awkwardness out of the way immediately, letting us all know that, hey, quality toilet paper is a good thing … and a good bathroom trip — or, “the go,” as it’s called here — should be enjoyed.
Plus, who doesn’t enjoy a good, TP-related riddle?
24. @ComedyCentral
Why we’re amused:
Because we see what you did there, Comedy Central. Also, this: For some of us, cheese is always the answer, no matter what the problem.
25. @YourAwayMessage
Why we’re amused:
Are we the only ones who remember the days of AOL Instant Messenger, a.k.a., AIM? Think back, if you can, to a time before Slack, Twitter, and even Facebook — and maybe, just maybe, it’ll all come back to you.
If looking at this bio (and its accompanying profile image) gives you an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia, then you already know why it’s amusing. Remember AIM profiles? And sub-profiles? And away messages? Or the sound of that creaky door opening when your ~*cRuSh*~ signed on?
Also, the location being “the den” is on point. If this doesn’t hit home for you, view this BuzzFeed article, or move on to the next!
26. @TheEllenShow
Why we’re amused:
Ellen DeGeneres entertains us on social media, television, real life, etc. She’s just plain amusing. So it should come as no surprise that her actual bio on Twitter is pretty darn amusing. According to her bio, she has a second job as an ice road trucker — hmm — and her tweets are both real, and spectacular. Well, she’s not lying about her tweets. After all, see below. So, what does that tell us about her second job? We buy it.
27. @tomhanks
Why we’re amused:
Fame didn’t get to Tom Hanks’ head. He’s a normal person, just like you and I, having issues with fluctuating weight. Sometimes, he gains people’s approval — and other times, not so much. To that, we say, “Tweet on, Tom.”
28. @FranksRedHot
Why we’re amused:
If you’re as big a fan of Frank’s RedHot as we are, then you know how easy it to actually but that — ahem — [stuff] on everything. Of course, as marketers, we agree that the brand might as well put it on Twitter, too.
29. @popchips
Why we’re amused:
We wish eating popchips was in our job descriptions — since, when they’re around, we certainly eat them like it’s part of our collective responsibilities.
30. Pepsi
Why we’re amused:
It’s pretty funny to imagine a social media manager getting distracted from their job duties because the product they’re supposed to be marketing is just so delicious.
Humorous Bio Ideas for Twitter
Twitter bios? Who reads those anyways?!
Well, if you think of yourself as a funny human being, then there’s no harm in poking extra fun through the imaginative usage of your Twitter bio. This, my friend, is the reason for the existence of this funky collection.
There’s a fair amount of funny Twitter bio ideas in this collection. All that’s left to do is for you to actually use them. You can also reinvent them if you want.
Go on, make the denizens of the Twitter-verse laugh, one bio at a time!
- I had fun once, it was horrible!
- I put the “elation” in “public relations!”
- Too dead to die.
- Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.
- My mom says I’m special.
- Fresher than you.
- I’m a potato.
- I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m sleeping.
- it’s all fun and games till it’s not fun and games.
- I’m so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed!
- Disappointed but not surprised.
- Exhale the bullsh*t!
- Sassy, classy, and bad-assy.
- Abnormally normal!
- Recovering ice cream addict.
- Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
- I prefer my puns intended.
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
- I believe in annoyed at first sight.
- I put “ces” in “success.” Without me, life will just” succ.”
- I’m so much cooler online. Aren’t we all?
- Born at a very young age.
- Normal is boring!
- Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate!
- An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough!
- Naturally and artificially flavored.
- Who’s a good boy? I am!
- I try not to laugh at my jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
- One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
- So you want to hear a couple of general and useless tweets?
- Adulting is soup and I am a fork.
- Just another papercut survivor.
- You are either on my side, by my side, or in my f*cking way. Choose wisely.
Make People Laugh With These Hilarious Twitter Bios
- I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year!
- I’m here to avoid my friends on Facebook.
- I’m real, and I hope some of my followers are too.
- Oppai daisuki!
- Who reads these anyways?
- If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- Musty but not yet moldy.
- Pretty from afar, far from pretty.
- Professional overthinker.
- I want to be nice, but everyone annoys me.
- Just dropped my new single. It’s me. I’m single.
- Life in plastic, is fantastic!
- I am the human equivalent of a typo.
- Stay salty.
- Self-love seems so often unrequited.
- Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
- I accept bribes.
- I found my Twitter password!
- If you’re a mosquito, unfollow me now.
- Aggressively unfancy.
- Woke up today, it was terrible!
- If I was funny, I would have a good Twitter bio.
- The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
- Weekend, please don’t leave me.
- Better late than never, but never late is better.
- I may not be special, but I’m definitely limited edition!
- I’m here to serve cats!
- I speak fluent sarcasm.
- I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
- Washing everything down the sink.
- My preferred pronoun is ‘your majesty.’
- Weird is a side-effect of awesome.
- More issues than vogue.
- I don’t buy what you’re selling.
- Do you think Bob the Builder can fix my bad attitude?
- The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Witty Catchphrases for Your Twitter Bio
- I spent a lot of time on this bio.
- I like bananas!
- I apologize in advance.
- Too unoriginal to make my own bio.
- I’m unique, just like everyone else.
- Roses are red, I’m going to bed.
- To unfollow me, simply don’t follow me.
- 50% idk, 50% idc.
- Why get thinner when you can get more dinner?
- I have the power of god and anime on my side.
- Let’s try this thing again, Twitter.
- 160 characters? Impossible, utter madness!
- I believe I could, but I overslept so I didn’t.
- I’m smart but I do dumb things anyway.
- I wish common sense was common.
- People can’t use you if you’re useless.
- Sad, lonely, and bad at math.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- Who cares? I’m awesome!
- Single but too sleepy to mingle.
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- God has a weird sense of humor. Just look at me!
- Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
- Spreading smiles like they’re herpes.
- Professional procrastinator!
- I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
- I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
- Go away!
- Waking up every day seems a bit excessive.
- My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
- It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine!
- I’m not totally useless. You can always use me as a bad example.
- Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
- No Twitter bio.
- My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.
- Wearing the entrepreneur hat this week and starting a new business. Great plan of attack but no product yet. A dream told me to find the product in a dream
- Analogue at birth, digital by design.
- Roustabout, gadabout, knockabout. #Psychology #speaking
- Social strategy & implementation. Will work for shoes.
- I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
- Human being
- I watch Jurassic Park every week. Also a pretty legit baker.
- I’ve learned I don’t know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.
- Putting the elation in Public Relations
- Deep Thinker and Enchilada Enthusiast
- Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.
- Hi I’m Megan and I’m a really lame dork that is in love with a big dumbface named Lexus.
- Life’s so Fun-tastic. Just Be Alive!!!
- I’m 25% mom 25% comedian 62% you know what 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.
- 99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% I’m usually asleep.
- If you follow me, all of your dreams will come true. I also know the difference between your and you’re but I won’t lord it over you.
- Marc is a man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
- Was a tree…now not deal with it.
- The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
- Good morning. I behave decently to everyone without any expectation of rewards or punishment after I’m dead.
- Born at a very young age.
- The only person on Twitter who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
- Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am superb at parallel parking.
- Don’t you just hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way you octopus
- I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on disk somewhere.
- I’m indifferent to most items on the planet. Some people call me a Social Media Guru. I don’t correct them.
- When I’m not seeking therapy for my Xenophobia extreme fear of Tom Cruise I’m curating the world’s most amazing David Hasselhoff fan site.
- I want to say I deserve better and mean it. I want to say I give up and believe it. I want to say I’m moving on and do it.
- I apologize in advance.
I’m that actor in some of the movies you liked and some you didn’t. Sometimes I’m in pretty good shape, other times I’m not. Hey, you got to live, you know?
- I just want you that’s it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you.
- Follow me
- I am nothing but an angry, wild egg that loves garlic bread.
- I am a life form evolved to live off movies, comics, video games, junk food and snarky. Sadly, I will never be a Ghostbuster when I grow up. I am very gucky.
- S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
- Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless
- I like cake Who doesn’t? It’s simple and to the point. I like cake and that tells me a lot about this person. We could be friends.
- Maybe I should rethink this, when I spelled it Blooging at first.
- My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there’s Twitter for a reason!
- You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.
- I have been called a Pollyanna, sugarcoated idealist. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that
- Naturally and artificially flavored
- The spaces between my fingers were created so that another being could fill them. Guess what!!! I’m still single. Let’s see if I can help you…
- I’m just a boy, standing in front of the world, asking you to follow me.
- Like all 80s kids, I was so busy being told how special I was I didn’t get that that went for everybody else, too. Now I’m sad that I’m not more important.
- Hello my cute armadillo. I’ll follow back esp. if you’re Irish
- There are a LOT of twitter accounts with blank bios, but if you don’t want to go to the effort of writing one, but at the same time you don’t want to leave it blank either then consider this:
Conclusion
With that I wrap up this guide to funny Twitter bios from around the the web. I hope you liked this compilation and will comment below with your favorite bio.
Also, please share with your friends via Facebook and Twitter if you found this funny.
